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No Skype, you are not improving my experience, you are updating yourself without asking first.

Is it just me or is Skype getting worse and worse?

Movie Review: Sinister

Movie Review: Sinister

Image source.

 

 

This movie's summary on IMDB says: A true crime writer realise that the murder he is researching could be the work of a serial killer.

 

Here is my summary: A blogger realise that the movie he is watching might be a load of crap. Turns out he is right.

 

Why did I think this movies stinks? 75% of this movie is just Ethan Hawk flailing about in the dark 'investigating' a noise he heard in his house. 20% of the movie is Ethan Hawk slurping whiskey in his study. The last 5% is stuff happening. They can really condense the movie into a 10 minute short and not loose any plot points.

 

The only scares in the movie are red herrings - a sudden screaching noise startles you but it turns out to be nothing.

 

Crappy movie. Crappy review. We are even.



See what the world see

Take this lollipop

Ok ok ok, this is a few years old, but I only saw it for the first time today: http://www.takethislollipop.com/

They grab your Facebook profile and make a horror movie with your content. This really gives you an idea how much of your information is actually available for the world to see.

Go check it out. If you are years behind like I am.

Joy!

It is with the greatest of joy that I can announce my wife and I have a baby on the way.

Currently, the baby is the size of a raisin. From the picture above, the doctor can already see the head, the tiny little butt and a heartbeat. I will have to take his word for it, because all I see is static.

My wife has never looked happier or prettier.

She is convinced it will be a boy and I say it is going to be a girl. So game on. Who will be right?

Movie Review: Beneath (2013)

Movie Review: Beneath (2013)

 

They say that a movie review should be fair and objective. I say nonsense. So please find my non-objective and unfair review of Beneath:

This movie is shit. Avoid.

The crap thing about this horror movie, if you put a 1000 people in the same situation as these kids, all 1000 will survive.

These dumbasses died so quickly and easily I suspect that they might be mentally handicapped . Call me old fashioned, but, I don't think we should chuck the mentally challenged into a lake for our entertainment.

Most sarcastic email subject

Wow LinkedIn, why would you mock like this? WHY?! What did I do to you?

A triumphant Friday Time Waster

Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog

 

The idea is simple – Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog is a cigar smoking socket puppet that goes around calling celebrities assholes to their face. What a joy to see a stunned celebrity after getting the Triumph treatment on the red carpet.

Triumph did not initially started out on the red carpet but worked his way up by crashing the exclusive Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in New York. Here he made fun of the ridiculous lengths owners went to get the pets perfect for the show. Of course he got kicked out (It would not be the last time he got kicked out of an event).

He went on to become a regular on the Conon O’Brien show where he got the opportunity to pitilessly mock Conan and the guests on the show.

Although crass and insensitive, some celebrities have embraced Triumph, like the band Bon Jovi. They let Triumph in at one of their shows, where he made fun of them and their fans. They took all his insults with a pinch of salt and even let him come on stage with them to do a song. The band could be seen roaring with laughter in the background while Triumph sang this to the tune of ‘You give love a bad name’:

Humped a shar pei/ pulled out too late/ now that bitch has a litter of eight/ they eat all the Alpo, right off my plate/ oh why the hell didn't I just masturbate?! Oh, I'm a loaded gun!/Here comes Bon Jovi, the pooping's begun!/ Look at you guys, have you no shame?/ You give poop, a bad name! Crawl back in the butt from whence you came!/ You give poop, a bad name!

I gained a lot of respect to Bon Jovi for being such good sports while getting roasted by Triumph.

Somebody that did not to do well with Triumphs insults was Eminmimim. How do you spell that? Anyways, as Triumph started making fun of Slim Shady, he and his whole crew got up and walked out of the MTV music awards.

Too smoothing things over later, the two did a music video together called Ass like that where they free insulted each other.

Then, Triumph stepped up to the king of insults – Simon Cowel. Words can’t describe it. Just watch.

 

GameTrailers

 

Triumph has also been tried his hand at investigative journalism by visiting the Michael Jackson trail to do a “fair and balanced” report on the events there.

 

 

There are many many more stories about Triump. A quick Google search will hook you up.