A triumphant Friday Time Waster

Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog

 

The idea is simple – Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog is a cigar smoking socket puppet that goes around calling celebrities assholes to their face. What a joy to see a stunned celebrity after getting the Triumph treatment on the red carpet.

Triumph did not initially started out on the red carpet but worked his way up by crashing the exclusive Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in New York. Here he made fun of the ridiculous lengths owners went to get the pets perfect for the show. Of course he got kicked out (It would not be the last time he got kicked out of an event).

He went on to become a regular on the Conon O’Brien show where he got the opportunity to pitilessly mock Conan and the guests on the show.

Although crass and insensitive, some celebrities have embraced Triumph, like the band Bon Jovi. They let Triumph in at one of their shows, where he made fun of them and their fans. They took all his insults with a pinch of salt and even let him come on stage with them to do a song. The band could be seen roaring with laughter in the background while Triumph sang this to the tune of ‘You give love a bad name’:

Humped a shar pei/ pulled out too late/ now that bitch has a litter of eight/ they eat all the Alpo, right off my plate/ oh why the hell didn't I just masturbate?! Oh, I'm a loaded gun!/Here comes Bon Jovi, the pooping's begun!/ Look at you guys, have you no shame?/ You give poop, a bad name! Crawl back in the butt from whence you came!/ You give poop, a bad name!

I gained a lot of respect to Bon Jovi for being such good sports while getting roasted by Triumph.

Somebody that did not to do well with Triumphs insults was Eminmimim. How do you spell that? Anyways, as Triumph started making fun of Slim Shady, he and his whole crew got up and walked out of the MTV music awards.

Too smoothing things over later, the two did a music video together called Ass like that where they free insulted each other.

Then, Triumph stepped up to the king of insults – Simon Cowel. Words can’t describe it. Just watch.

 

GameTrailers

 

Triumph has also been tried his hand at investigative journalism by visiting the Michael Jackson trail to do a “fair and balanced” report on the events there.

 

 

There are many many more stories about Triump. A quick Google search will hook you up.

 

Donkey Kong in Stop Motion

Some old skool gaming

User guizdp took the time to recreate some scenes from the legendary old skool game Donkey Kong.

 

I used to play this on the old Nintendo hand held games.

One day I got it in my head that the games wants to be dissasembled. Why would I do a stupid thing like that? Because I was 9 years old.

 

A small Friday Time Waster

Thumbs!

 

I like bizarre web comics and movies and none is more bizarre than the Thumbs! series. This series of short movie was made by Steve Oedekerk, the man who wrote the screenplays for Patch Adams, Nutty Professor II, Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, Barnyard,and um, Kung Pow: Enter the Fist.

If you are not sure if you are drunk enough to watch Kung Pow – you are not drunk enough.

These comical short movies employs dressed up thumbs as actors on very small sets. The attention to detail on the little sets is astonishing.

The first movie was a spoof of Star Wars called Thumb Wars: The Phantom Cuticle. The movie was made to promote the animated Star Wars: The Clone Wars series that was about to debut on Cartoon Network.

Judging from the ratings it got on http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0206341/ andhttp://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/thumb-wars/  the short film was a big success.  On both websites the movie beats Stars Wars: Phantom Menace in terms of audience popularity.

Thumb wars were followed up by The Godthumb. Later four more films joined the series: Bat thumb, Frankentumb, Blairthumb and Thumbtanic.

Bat thumb is a spoof of Tim Burton's Batman with Micheal Keaton starring as Batman. Here is the movie as published on Google movies:

 

 

You can find all the other movies on YouTube. 

Thumb wars

 

 

Godthumb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blairthumb

 

 

 

You can follow me on Twitter: @riiaan79

 

PlayStation 4 outmaneuvers the XBone

PlayStation 4 outmaneuvers the XBone

Xbox One was recently announced and the message from Microsoft to gamers was loud and clear: “Fuck You!”

 Back in the day…

When Microsoft released the Xbox 360 in 2005 to compete against the Sony PlayStation 3, they were clearly the underdog. The Sony PlayStation2 was the most successful console ever and to make their mark would not be easy.

To compete, the Xbox 360 was priced lower than the PS3 and MS went out of their way to produce good games and entertainment for the system. In the end, the 360 competed very well against the PS3 and both of them sold more or less the same.

Unfortunately now…

Now, with their foot firmly in the market, all goodwill MS had towards gamers has dried up as demonstrated by the press conference announcing the new Xbox titled the ‘Xbox One’. Or “XBone” as gamers scathingly refer to it.

Microsoft’s contempt for gamers clearly showed when they said that you can’t lend or borrow games anymore. Should you lend a game from someone, you will have to pay to play the game.

Another blow to gamers – your Xbox will need a connection to the Internet or else you cannot play games. For people who don’t have Internet or people who has a bad connection at home this is a problem.

Then there is the prying eye. The Kinect must be on or the Xbox won’t function. The fact that the camera must always be switched on has some frightening implication… 

For one, MS recently applied for a patent – when you watch a movie you will only be licensed for a certain number of people to watch it. Should the Kinect detect more people in the room, the movie will be paused until you pony up some more cash. 

It is also suspected that the Kinect will collect data on you so that MS can target advertising at you. Although MS says that their Terms of Agreement states that they won’t collect data on you there is another clause that you have to remember – “Terms and Agreements are subject to change without prior notice.”  

After you have bought your Xbox One, MS can invade your home and there is nothing you can do about it. 

However, there was a silver lining, the E3 conference was still coming up and it was expected that Microsoft would clarify or reverse some of the restrictions they are going to place on the Xbox One.  

E3 has now come and gone and MS is still going ahead with the draconian limitations. 

Sony has made a meal of the ‘bone’ that Microsoft has thrown them. It seems clear that they want to capitalize on the negativity the XBone has generated by announcing that not only will their console be cheaper, it will have none of the restrictions. To delight of pretty much everyone, they have been releasing videos on YouTube mocking the new Xbox.
 

 

Is Microsoft worried? No. Microsoft’s Phil Spencer simply said:

“we believe an all-in-one system that does the best games and TV and entertainment will be something that's really unique.” Or in other words, the target market is no longer gamers. 

There you have it, since the Xbox 360 introduced gaming to main stream, the focus of the Xbox has shifted from gaming to entertainment. The Xbox is now an entertainment system and no longer a gaming system.

The future…

The race for the next generation has started and it looks like Sony is leading the pack at the moment. Will Microsoft be able to pull it together and be competitive?

 

I really hope that Microsoft softens their anti-consumer stance, but until they do, all I have to say to them is, “Microsoft, you and your Xbox can go fuck yourselves!”

 

Image Source.

 

A thing of beauty. The most violent beat down since Under Siege.

 

Look, I don’t condone stealing and piracy is bad, mkay? But the records companies, RIAA and the MPAA are soulless monsters with 2 obsessions: money and the money they don’t have yet.

These assholes and their lawyers think they can police the world and seeing the guys over at Pirate bay stand up to these bullies is a thing of beauty.

For your reading pleasure, please find them here tearing the Web Sherriff a new asshole. (The Web Sherriff’s email is printed after the ‘>’ characters and the Pirate Bay responses is just below that.)

The Web Sherriff attacks again…
 

Not content with the beat downs already received the Web Sherriff is back again. At this point it is like watching Steven Seagal beat the ever-loving crap out of Tommy Lee Jones in Under Siege.

Finally, here is the invoice Pirate Bay sent Web Sherriff for their dry cleaning and wasting their time.

 

To find many more of their scuffles with lawyers / record companies from all over the world go their legal page, where they take down many more bullies.

The world jeers the Xbox One!

The world jeers the new Xbox!

Last night Microsoft revealed the new Xbox called, Xbox One.

So far the world’s reaction the event is largely negative. For one thing, the design of the Xbox is shit. It looks like a Beta video machine from the 80’s. User@taherrangwala cheekily tweeted:  

Second issue the world has with the new Xbox is the stupid name.

But, the issue that is overshadowing the whole event was Microsoft’s announcement that you will have to pay a licence fee if you want to play a second hand game. Any game will be tied to a console the first time it’s used. After that, anybody else that wants to play the game must first pay a fee.

To do some damage control Larry Hryb, one of the big wigs at Xbox, went on his blog to clarify the statement by saying: “…today we have only confirmed that we designed Xbox One to enable our customers to trade in and resell games at retail…”

That quote does not really mean much and has not soothed gamer’s fears that they will have to pay to play old or borrowed games.

Currently Larry is being roasted alive on his blog by the commentators. A lot of gamers speculate that they will rather buy the new Playstation then the Xbox on condition that they don’t get screwed by Sony, since it is believed that Sony might also implement a similar kind fee.

 

It is a shame that Microsoft fucked up the announcement of the new Xbox. I was looking forward to hear all about the new Xbox and its new innovations. Unfortunately, all we got is news that Microsoft wants to screw us harder.

What Microsoft should keep in the back of their minds is that EA Games has won the award for the worst company in America for the second year in a row! There are so many horrible companies in America such as Halliburton, AT&T, Ticketmaster, etc but the people have decided that a gaming company is even worse than them. Why did they choose EA? There are a lot of reasons but the chief reason is EA’s insistence on treating their customers like milk cows.

Watch out MS, next year you might win the Golden Poo!

You can join the world and harass Microsoft on Twitter with the currently trending tag #XboxOne.

Watch user Darkbeatdk delightedly taking the piss out of the new Xbox:

 

Review: Cut the rope

Review: Cut the rope

 

Review: Cut the rope – Caution: Addictive personalities should steer clear

This creation from Zeptolab got me hooked and FAST!  I first downloaded the free game on my Samsung tablet and needless to say did the same on my phone. 

The game consists of 3 seasons and within each season there are different levels.  To unlock these levels you need a certain amount of stars.  Below is an illustration of the different games and levels.

Game	Number of boxes	Levels per box	Total levels
Cut the Rope	14	25	350
Cut the Rope: Experiments	7	25	175
Cut the Rope: Time Travel	6	15	90
Cut the Rope: Holiday Gift (no longer available)	1	25	25

Source - Wikipedia

In each game you can obtain a maximum of three stars.  If you obtain only one star and get the candy into the weird looking frog’s mouth then you can proceed to the next game.   Here are 2 pics to illustrate just what I am talking about:

 



At first I thought that in some of the games it is just NOT possible to obtain 3 stars, BUT behold if you’re clever enough and kind of a good strategist you will find a way to obtain all the stars!  Being bit of a perfectionist and very competitive nothing less than 3 stars was acceptable for me hence the hours of fun me and the hubby had in bed at night! Yes, cutting the rope, and not the dope!

 

 

Go to Google Playstore to download your free game today! You won’t be able to stop the craziness!

Written by: Yvette de Villiers

 

FIRST TIME GAMING FOR THE “NOT SO GEEKY GIRL”

First time gaming for the "Not so Geeky Girl"

 

 

When I was a little girl, I played the odd Mario Brothers, Pacman and other well known games from the early nineties.

It was only when meeting my husband at the ripe age of almost thirty, that I got re-introduced to gaming, this time on an Xbox 360.  I thought he was a bit nerdy for playing games, but then I got hooked myself.  NO! I am not nerdy, okay maybe just a little!

We started off with Call of Duty.  And it was a nightmare to get use to the controller. I couldn’t even bring myself to walk forward let alone shoot the enemy.  Luckily my nerdy husband had the patience to teach me.  We played Xbox Arcade games to teach me how to use my controller, and that changed everything for me.  I wasn’t afraid of the controller anymore, and I could now kick some serious arse in Call of Duty.  Just a pity that when you play Call of Duty split screen and you don’t finish the whole game, you will start from scratch the next time!  Darn – and for the “not so geeky gaming girl” this meant: chuck it in the fuck-it bucket!

Next mission: Gears of War 3.  I loved it!! It gave me such a kick to kill aliens, all that built up frustration and anger (from being a bean counter – NO THAT IS NOT NERDY!) was now aimed at aliens and no longer my husband! BUT then, my profile got corrupted and there was no more Gears of War 3 L,  apparently it was a common problem when you played split screen co-op, thank you Epic Games for ruining that for me.   See below a news article.  See I did not seek an excuse to rather go paint my toenails.



 

Gears of War 3 bug crashing consoles, corrupting profiles

Epic “working every second” to resolve the problemQuinton BronkhorstOctober 11, 2011

If you were planning on a split-screen co-op session of Gears of War 3 any time soon, you might just want to hold off on that a bit.

According to an increasing number of reports over on Epic’s forums, some kind of serious bug is hanging the game at load, and rendering one or both of the profiles present unable to play at all after that.

The bug seems to turn up in multiple game modes, including Horde, campaign, and versus multiplayer.

For the moment, Epic’s official line is that “Getting this resolved is a priority for Epic. We are collecting information internally, sourcing as much as possible from the community and exploring potential fixes. We do not have any recommendations to share with players just yet.”

Or, basically, don’t play split-screen co-op.

Don’t even play Gears of War 3.

Don’t even switch on your Xbox, man.

The worst bit? Gears of War 2 had exactly the same bug

-       Source: mygaming.co.za

Luckily I forgave Epic games and we started with Gears of War 1, because Capcom’s Resident Evil 5 was just too evil, no not the gruelling zombies, but they are very stingy giving away achievements AND you find yourself backed up in a corner too much for my liking. 

I am now on a journey discovering the weird and wonderful world of gaming.  And because there is not so many games that will attract a girls attention in a gaming store, I might just one day write my own game.

 
Okay hubby, “I got you back like a butt crack” lets continue with our gaming!

- By Yvette de Villiers