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Friday, 13 February 2009

Prince of Persia 2009

When the release Prince of Persia was announced, it was like the anticipation mounting before Christmas. You hear the sounds of tearing gift wrap, only to find,
Knitted underwear of some kind. The dream of a bicycle shattered for all time.
Santa you dog.

The intro was as exciting as the day I went to get my wisdom teeth pulled.
These fellows can go for extra classes on intros at: in life.

The game started and I was transported back through the sands of time to Roger Wilco and his alien cronies.
There was no continuity from the intro to game play.
It was sudden as that rich Greek halumi cheese sneaking op on my stomach lining.
Not only was I surprised, but also my visual tentacles were numbed by this anime character staining the stylish landscape.
I thought to myself, Dragon Ball Z rocks, but this, she is but a pebble on a British shore line.

This random chickazoid ran ahead, I tried to follow, my hands they bled.
What the hell, my alter ego said.
We discussed this at length, about the time we had spent
installing this game,
Too little Heineken down went.

The game progressed into sudden nothingness, to the first scene of fight.
My mood by then, to fridge thy flight,
For Heineken I need, my boredom to feed.

Characters talk rubbish; this you can’t skip, as if the creators find pride in annoying you with nonsense said between characters.
Whilst fighting, I was banging my keyboard and mouse like my 5 year old nephew,
Not sure what’ll happen but dandy, at least by hammering the controls, it makes a progressive sound.

The scenes and the story line stop and go like a 59 Ford in need of a tow.
Irritating enough, I can’t but shake, bring back Prince of Persia 2D, mate.

The previous 2, Sands of Time and Two Thrones, was enjoyable and you felt that you wanted to succeed.
I had to fasten the straight jacket on my alter ego, to prevent him from uninstalling this mid way.
Verdict - Don't buy!

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